To My Sweet Baby Girl on her first Birthday….
It is so so cliche for me to say this but you have forever changed our lives the moment you arrived. Turned life as we know it on its head and I can’t fully remember what it was like before YOU.
Since then you have amazed us. Pushed the limits of what I thought it was possible as each month went by. Sitting up, crawling, those first steps… I cant even begin to imagine what you will impress us with next.
Since then you have shown your personality. Feisty, free spirited, STRONG. You are everything a little girl should be and MORE. You command attention, you are funny and witty. You are fearless. You are independent. I wish you to be all these things always.
I hope in this new year, and every year after, you are still all these things and can always remain true to who you are and who you want to be.
Thank you for making me stronger, vulnerable, and a fiercely protective and more confident woman and mommy. As you get older I hope I can teach you how to be the same as it is SO important.
As it has been from day one, I will always hold you.. hug you, kiss you, snuggle with you for as long as you want whenever you want. I will listen, I will cry with you, I will laugh with you and I will ALWAYS be there for you. And if there comes a day you don’t want the hug, the kiss, the snuggles, I will STILL be there for all those when you realize that at some point you will still need your mommy for all these things.
So Happy 1st Birthday my dear sweet Emmy. Mommy loves you from the bottom of her heart for now and always.
It’s been a long time since I’ve put my thoughts out in the world and have been thinking its better late than never….It’s been quite a year and a half since I last wrote and I couldn’t even begin to say where I should begin!
My knitting has been coming along nicely and while I haven’t fully tackled a new technique or particularly difficult project I am pleased with what knits i have been adding to my life and wardrobe. There were few new pairs of socks (which I wrote about earlier this year) and a fine (but incredibly warm) linen weight scarf, along with a basic sweater!
My project list has a new subject to focus on however and one that I am more than excited about… a baby! My husband and I welcomed home a beautiful little baby girl earlier this year and we cannot be more thrilled! She has been such a joy to watch these first few months and I am still in awe of becoming a mom.
While I will sadly be going back to work very shortly it has gotten me to begin to try to think of ways that I would be able to stay home with my girl while still contributing to our household income. I have always known that I would enjoy staying at home and my maternity leave have truly shown me just how much I love it. However, it is the difficult part of our living in NYC as the cost of living is outrageously high which is what is taking me back to the office. That being said, becoming a stay at home mom has become a bit of a dare for me in seeing if I could make it work. I am by no means saying I am up and quitting my current job today ( I’m not that crazy!, if you’re reading my beautiful supivisor I truly promise to give you fair warning!) but I have been thinking about how a transition from one environment to another could work.
I am pleased to say that I feel my knitting could be a part of this budding plan and one that I plan to explore. If I remember to look back at my archived posts later I believe I had plans to write and publish one of my own patterns. That has been one of my first thoughts of trying to stay at home… come up with and write my own patterns to sell- as I would not be committing all my time to making each piece which would take away time from being mommy… What a great way too to test drive a venture like this as well…
So I raise you readers…. have any of you ventured into self employment?… what were your best decisions in the planning stages that would help another young entrepreneur? And knitters!- what have you found most helpful when it comes to writing, purchasing, or reading patterns?…
2016. This is our year- screw the sound of it being ominous and all the shit about pre determined destiny. 2016 is totally, completely OUR YEAR. The past 12 months have given both of us plenty of heartache, determination, tears, strength and utter grief, through jobs present, future and undetermined. It has also seen my worse sides which I can only grow from and find peace.
But when I say it’s our year I mean that we have been standing on the edge of a cliff, on the verge of something amazing and wonderful…and we have been figurative pushed off that cliff in the last 12 months and the dive downwards has something amazing for us… Because when we land- it’s not even a question whether we are going to sink or swim- we have already started kicking and swimming our way through the currents. Something beautiful awaits us. I don’t quite know what it will be but I have a few ideas…they’re scary and intimidating and utterly wonderful, and I cannot wait to see what this new year brings us.
Whatever it is, it will be exactly what I need, because it will be with you.
Forever your sweet pea.